Conquering the Sneaky Demon of Confidence Drinking
Life looks better through tequila-colored glasses—until it doesn’t
Ever since I was young, I wrestled with being “good enough.” I wanted to be the smartest, so I studied vigorously. I didn’t want to feel weak physically or mentally, so I trained relentlessly, on both the inside and outside.
But at the same time, I felt crushed by the expectations of those around me. Everyone loved the me that I projected — I just wasn’t sure if they even liked the quiet, awkward kid behind it all.
My family and peers considered me a role model and thought I had everything it took to become a leader. My single mother hustled hard to give me a good, stable life. I didn’t want to disappoint her, but it indirectly added to the pressure of always being “the kid with great potential.” My “potential” became a show for those around me. With each new achievement or display of intelligence, I seemed to gather more spectators.
There were buffers, sure. My teachers and coaches helped alleviate the pressure of always having to succeed. My high school maintained a gaming club that gave me the perfect outlet for my insecurities: I was surrounded by people who didn’t define me by my superficial qualities. I could be goofy and make mistakes in front of people who…
